Yield 2 Lyfe

Yielding

Picture it it was the summer of 2001, ATL, still had Similac on my breath and definitely smelling myself. Earlier in the year I was accepted into the prestigious Morehouse College and thus began my life journey into young adulthood. Like many of my peers I too had plans of grandeur; completing school, good career, grad school, real estate investment, and possibly starting a family. Well those plans are not exactly how life turned out. I ended leaving school with a shameful GPA of 1.9, ending two failing toxic relationships, and a dead end career with little potential of advancement or professional growth. That wasn't the life I planned nor was it the desired outcome that I envisioned for myself. As the years passed and much to my dismay I watched as some of my peers succeed and attained their goals while I simply hit road block after road block. It wasn't until very recently that I began to see the dead ends turn into bridges of hope. I transferred to Rutgers University, moved back out on my own, took a promotion within a fortune 500 company and even attained some financial freedom! And then I hit another major road block, and learned of the death of a very good friend, (will speak on this later), as well as a major set back with school. I felt like again life was giving me another road block or another stop sign. 

So I've had a couple of honest conversations with three of my best friends concerning where I am at in life and where I should be and where I want to be in the future. It later occurred to me that I wasn't giving a stop sign, no this was more of a yield sign. You see in life I'm learning I can not compare my progress unto another person's path because our paths are vastly different and we would perceive situations uniquely. In others words my journey is my journey and doesn't really matter when I reach my destination but that I complete the journey. I count my blessings and thank God for where I stand because I may not be where I wanna but I definitely not where I use to be. 

Starting Over (Well not exactly!)

So what happens when you loss focus and can't see your goals or even the life set before you? Do you stop and ask for directions or do you keep going in the same direction? That was what I was pondering... So i thought for a lil bit and this is what i came up with.

1.) GOD SHOULD always be my first priority. (not to sound to churchy) but what happens when we ask GOD to bless us with something and then we begin to worship that thing instead of giving GOD his credit that his do? (Sound familiar we prayed for a special someone in our lives and we focused on them as priority and make GOD or new choice?

2.) Never burn the bridges of the past as they become the new pathways of the future! LOL yo its funny to me how ex's of mind keep finding on Facebook... lol (will respond later on anotha blog)...

3.) Treat others as you want to be treated and DO' NOT neglect those who may or are closest to you... *BREAK*

Right now I want to take time to first apologize to those i would consider my inner circle: Ivan, Dale, Wendy, D'Mitri, Nyron, Chris, Amy, and now welcoming: Reggie, and Daniel.... I know i haven't been the best person i could be to any of you because I lost sight and became amazed with the blessing instead of praising GOD! From this day forth I wanna do my best to be a better person and treat each and every on of you as i would want to be treated!

4.) DO NOT LOSS FOCUS of your dream and or vision. I had to remind myself what it was why it is still relevant in my life.

So these four points right are what i came up with... My question im gonna ask is now that if made these revelations which way do i go? One thing is for sure... IM GOING to GET RIGHT WITH GOD BEFORE I GET LEFT!!!

THANK YOU

So i thought i was not going to end feeling like I was hit by a mac-truck, or the wind was knocked out from me... but i do... over the past 24-48 hours my emotions went from content, to worry, to anger, and then to sadness before settling on abandonment. (I know, I know ima dude and we are not supposed to feel like that!), but damnit i do! I mean I truly gave up my time, emotions, affection, and my heart and only for us to end up like this! But i truly understand now so things aren't for me to know or understand... GOD has a bigger clearer picture ahead of us. It sucks that i can't see it the way HE does but he has my interest at heart. Never the less, this isn't gonna be a rant session, I'm not gonna place blame, or even continue to ask why.

So im supposed to be working last night and i was but i couldn't do my job effectively, I managed to spill milk, soda, hot coffee, and water on people, myself, and coworkers. I hate the fact that i still feel like this, like im one of these broads sitting around listening to sad Mary J.Blige or Toni Braxton songs? Yeah ordinarily im able to walk away emotionally unscared but yeah know i feel as if they are laughing at me. In time this void that now lives in me will straighten itself out but one thing is for certain i cant say that i will ever be able to allow myself to open up that wide to a person again!!!

What else can i say?

Directions: First follow the link(copy and paste... sorry youtube wont let me embed) and watch and LISTEN to the accompany video then read the entry, that simple!!!





Ya know for us to be only in this for what 5 months why does it feel like its been years? Yo off the bat: PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME: JUST BECAUSE I’M UPSET WIT A SITUATION DOES NOT MEAN I DON’T LOVE YOU OR TRUST YOU!!!!! IT JUST MEANS I MAY NEED CLARIFICATION! (WE’LL GET TO THAT If YOU CHOOSE TO COME HOME AND TALK)
I was really trying to understand just where I am emotionally with you and judging by the fact that I was able to accept you WHOLE and not broken I am quite sure yes I am in love with you. I coulda dip, but I chose to be a man and make this work. It’s like you always say had I not care and I reacted like “Oh he’s decided to disappear….yeah watever,” then yeah start worrying! But that’s just it I think I know what the main issue is wrong with us at least what I believe it is! I’m in love with you and your still like ok I like you a lot. Because we’re on two different levels of understanding that we misunderstand or don’t quite comprehend what the other is saying. Baby GOD is key our foundation or bedrock, but we must also put in our physical work and communicate effectively. This means not storming off and being unreceptive to another person’s point of view. As I said early in our frentic exchange of yahoos, I never insinuated or suggested that you were cheating on me. Again I did suggest that you were lying to me or it appear to me that you are (Again we will address this when you and if you decide you want to talk!)
Next thing I’m a lil stunned that you thought I was attacking you shorty. (yes I’m trying to see this from your perspective). I feel like you blew up at me and I simply tryna get clarification (In all thy getting get understanding), not passing judgment. Heyal when I decided you were what I wanted I decided to take on all YOUR insecurities, let downs, mood swings, low points, joys, success, heartbreaks, fears, and short-commings. Again if I’m way to much for you to have on your plate yo I wont be mad if you decide to walk away! I don’t want you to leave but I’m not going to beg you to stay either.(as nice as it may sound). On the contrary if you feel like this is what you want and you think I can be your helpmate then ima need your patience to get long! This relationship thing ain’t easy! My grandparents were married 55 years before my grandmother passed. What I learned from them and their marriage is that nothing comes easily and anything that comes easily is not worth having. I got friends who have ridiculed, some laughed, and one completely wiped their of me because of my relationship wit you! But *touch ya shoulda and say, “BUT,” this is our relationship, not Ivan’s, Marlon’s, Twin’s, X’s, D’mitri’s, or TJ’s. ME and you made a step out on faith and monogamy that it would be us against the world! I will admit for us to take the easy way out and say to heyal wit it WILL BE A GREAT TRAGEDY for relationships because we couldn’t endure long enough or have enough discipline to stay committed? So again the ball is in your court,
“CHECK,” passes imaginary ball to you. What you gonna do drive the lane for a lay up or windmill dunk? Try for a tres from dowtown? Turn it over? Again I told you once and ima say it again I AINT GOING ANYWHERE ANYTIME SOON..(LORD PERMITTING) If you haven’t gotten that yet, last night should be a awesome reminder! I would hope you would take care of me as well in my time of lack of coherentness. (I know that aint a word. LOL) You know doing this was almost theraputic and I’m smiling thinking about us acting a fool bout chuuch, you and that dayum Mona and “Owlin,” or you tryna call upon the forces of twitter to give you wings of words to construct a thought .LOL (okay reaching wit that last one),
I LOVE YOU!! (Not in the sense of how the world loves but how GOD would want me to love you!)

Afterthoughts: I know im a difficult dude to deal with I thank you for putting up with me thus far and that if you get nothing else out of this experience you at least learn to open your heart UNCONDITIONALLY and be unafraid and daring enough to love some as GOD would have luved you…Do what GOD whould have you to do!!!

Deuces!

Summer Time Ohh Yess!

So Took my last final on Tuesday, and now waiting to hear from Rutgers University College of Nursing to see if i was accepted into the nursing major!!! (Pray in agreement with me), but knowing school is starting to let out it brings me to one of my favorite times of the year, Summer. It's this season that made me come to like the New York and greater tri-state area...(those that know me up to this point will tell you this area would be the last place on earth i would want to be), never the less I fuxx wit the city because of the summer. It seems like for me when summer comes drama seems to die down. But yeah i luv the heat, the late afternoon thunderstorms that come with it (great sleeping weather)... seeing folk being a lil more friendly, hearing the ice cream trucks wit reggaetone or hip hop blasting from the speakers (hey where im from the ice cream man was hood as heyal..lol), and yes being able to go to the beach and lay out and do absolutely nothing, hitting up the amusement parks and fairs (dayum i miss going to the state fair), eating funnel cake with chocolate sauce, barbeques, and the list continues.... I think this particular summer is gonna bring a lot of promise and maybe just maybe the Jetsetter will be able to become a line holder at the job!!! (will explain in anotha post).

Well bout to go eat oh by the way Big ups to baby brother AJ for about to graduate 4th in his class from high-school and earning a 4 year scholarship to The Ohio State University and to my shorty's BF Twin for graduating with your Masters (see otha Afro-American males obtain degrees of upper higher academia inspires me!)

Until next time Masses... Oh yeah you gotta fellow me on twitter MrHiHaterz

Dos dedos...

My Complimentary Other....

So its been almost a month since my last post Ima need to get better bout blogging.... Lazy tho... but,

So i got a question and please give a bruh some feedback also...

How do you know if the person your dating in the 1? Ight so its a stupid question, but seriously When? How?

I mean the point of dating is to find the individual that you make a substantial connection with and possibly settle down either via marriage or long term relationship. Once your pass the honeymoon stages and you've gifted any & everything imaginable, the poems, dinners, movies, and what have what do you truly have? Is it not the time shared the memories you share that truly bind you together?
So I have been in deep thought about the past couple months that me and my complimentary other have been dating and together. Yeah they are definitly a looker in the physical, but what got me line and sinker was their personality: their outlook on life in general and more importantly their relationship with GOD! ANd dont get me wrong they are not with their own flaws but I'm will and are currently dealing with and learning to accept them! I guess u can say we're both like a jigsaw, they are the complimentary piece to me or at least how it feels to me. I think this song begins to touch the iceberg of how im feeling on the inside...




AY babe thanx for intrducing me to blogging your right this is theraputic...
Until next time two fingers!

A Newbie.... The Grand Premier of WritingzNEffektz

Whaddup folk,
so at the urging of my significant other i decided to try this whole blogging thing out! Actually I'm not new to blogging as I've done a few post on myspace but very new to Blogspot. Regardless though over the years of my maturation into a somewhat "ghettofied," (LOL dayum i know that its not a real word!!!) manhood one powerful lesson sticks out in all the things my grandmother taught me: K.I.S.S. or Keep It Simple Stupid!!!! She was right, we as beings tend to turn very simple situations into complex melodrama reruns of " Days of our lives in the general hospital somewhere the world is turning!" Thus this brings me to my current juncture. So two of my coworkers Anita, and Stefan, and Stefan's significant other Juan, and myself currently occupy a three bedroom apartment near Gotham City. Now the greatest common denominator of our household issues is poor to lack of communication. If we could simply sit down as grown adults, that we claim to be, we can DISCUSS AND VOICE or opinions, concerns, and observations we would not be in the situation we are in now!

So picture it Stefan and Juan both younger than 25 (yeah i know youngins) have been in a dysfunctional relationship for the past year and a couple months. Now i don't judge them for it; they make it work for them. (Its their world I just fly around it!!) The problem within this dysfunctionality however lies within one there age, to their little to lack of trust, and recently their argument escalating to physical violence. (Please understand i do not condone an individual who has to put their on another person to get their points across) It has been recent occurrences of physical violence that has drastically disrupted our house hold. Anita and myself have both bared witness to these theatrical throw downs and even confronted both Stefan and Juan about their actions and the consequences that may fellow. Both agreed to try to keep it drama free. This relative "roma paxa" lasted maybe a couple of months before a week ago Anita is a witness to one of the worst fight scenes Stefan and Juan since Ana May Bullock and Ike Turner. Anita and I have had a side conversation as to how to handle the situation, but she decided to stop speaking to both. Meanwhile we agreed that in order for the situation to be addressed it should be her to do it because she comes across with more tact than myself. (Don't hate me cause I'm blunt!!) So moving forward Anita has stopped speaking to Stefan and Juan, Stefan is upset and wants to reconcile the situation but cant get Anita to speak to him so now Juan thinks that Stefan's "said anger" is being funneled into him because of Anita not speaking!!

Again had we just K.I.S.Sed this whole debacle wouldn't have even gotten this far. I'm tryin not to turn into the "angry black man and start cussing folk out," but that will be very very counter productive!! So ima ride this storm out for the moment. Ya know situations like this one make me realize why i can't live with others! I NEED MY OWN SPACE!!! LOL.

On the Academic front i know its that time of the year cause im getting madd lazy and pretty much have 3 papers and presentation and Organic BioChemstry exam all comming up within days of each other! Not complaining though I'm a get my focus back and start getting shyt done, for lack of better wording!

Finally, Why is my life starting to come together but in sections. Don't get me wrong again very grateful.... on the romantic front i think i may have found "THE shorty" that is willing to hold me down for the time being... at the urging of many caring friends we're taking it slow and letting it flow gradually....

Well there u have it WritingzNEffekts the premier edition.... Forth coming posts shouldn't be as dramatic as this one but hey a bruh had to get some things off my chest... (So Shorty you were right this is therapeutic).... and let me know what u think... So until the next time take care of yourselves and be Prosperous!!

2 Fingaz