Directions: First follow the link(copy and paste... sorry youtube wont let me embed) and watch and LISTEN to the accompany video then read the entry, that simple!!!
Ya know for us to be only in this for what 5 months why does it feel like its been years? Yo off the bat: PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME: JUST BECAUSE I’M UPSET WIT A SITUATION DOES NOT MEAN I DON’T LOVE YOU OR TRUST YOU!!!!! IT JUST MEANS I MAY NEED CLARIFICATION! (WE’LL GET TO THAT If YOU CHOOSE TO COME HOME AND TALK)
I was really trying to understand just where I am emotionally with you and judging by the fact that I was able to accept you WHOLE and not broken I am quite sure yes I am in love with you. I coulda dip, but I chose to be a man and make this work. It’s like you always say had I not care and I reacted like “Oh he’s decided to disappear….yeah watever,” then yeah start worrying! But that’s just it I think I know what the main issue is wrong with us at least what I believe it is! I’m in love with you and your still like ok I like you a lot. Because we’re on two different levels of understanding that we misunderstand or don’t quite comprehend what the other is saying. Baby GOD is key our foundation or bedrock, but we must also put in our physical work and communicate effectively. This means not storming off and being unreceptive to another person’s point of view. As I said early in our frentic exchange of yahoos, I never insinuated or suggested that you were cheating on me. Again I did suggest that you were lying to me or it appear to me that you are (Again we will address this when you and if you decide you want to talk!)
Next thing I’m a lil stunned that you thought I was attacking you shorty. (yes I’m trying to see this from your perspective). I feel like you blew up at me and I simply tryna get clarification (In all thy getting get understanding), not passing judgment. Heyal when I decided you were what I wanted I decided to take on all YOUR insecurities, let downs, mood swings, low points, joys, success, heartbreaks, fears, and short-commings. Again if I’m way to much for you to have on your plate yo I wont be mad if you decide to walk away! I don’t want you to leave but I’m not going to beg you to stay either.(as nice as it may sound). On the contrary if you feel like this is what you want and you think I can be your helpmate then ima need your patience to get long! This relationship thing ain’t easy! My grandparents were married 55 years before my grandmother passed. What I learned from them and their marriage is that nothing comes easily and anything that comes easily is not worth having. I got friends who have ridiculed, some laughed, and one completely wiped their of me because of my relationship wit you! But *touch ya shoulda and say, “BUT,” this is our relationship, not Ivan’s, Marlon’s, Twin’s, X’s, D’mitri’s, or TJ’s. ME and you made a step out on faith and monogamy that it would be us against the world! I will admit for us to take the easy way out and say to heyal wit it WILL BE A GREAT TRAGEDY for relationships because we couldn’t endure long enough or have enough discipline to stay committed? So again the ball is in your court,
“CHECK,” passes imaginary ball to you. What you gonna do drive the lane for a lay up or windmill dunk? Try for a tres from dowtown? Turn it over? Again I told you once and ima say it again I AINT GOING ANYWHERE ANYTIME SOON..(LORD PERMITTING) If you haven’t gotten that yet, last night should be a awesome reminder! I would hope you would take care of me as well in my time of lack of coherentness. (I know that aint a word. LOL) You know doing this was almost theraputic and I’m smiling thinking about us acting a fool bout chuuch, you and that dayum Mona and “Owlin,” or you tryna call upon the forces of twitter to give you wings of words to construct a thought .LOL (okay reaching wit that last one),
I LOVE YOU!! (Not in the sense of how the world loves but how GOD would want me to love you!)
Afterthoughts: I know im a difficult dude to deal with I thank you for putting up with me thus far and that if you get nothing else out of this experience you at least learn to open your heart UNCONDITIONALLY and be unafraid and daring enough to love some as GOD would have luved you…Do what GOD whould have you to do!!!
Deuces!
No comments:
Post a Comment